From Banana to Eggtart?

My extended family, is huge. Thing is, they mostly speak Chinese - Hokkien, Canto, Mandarin, you name it. Another thing is, my inability to converse similarly. However, over the years I have mastered the art of listening, and for the most part understanding their banter and chatter in my unacquired mother tongue; so familiar yet foreign. Therein lies the source of my moniker as a 'banana.' That is, "white on the inside, yellow on the outside!"

Okay, so there comes these holidays.

3 months.

And I'm thinking.

Damn.

Why not...

Attempt to turn from a

To a

Okay, that looks pretty damn good.

With such a transformation, I will remain yellow on the surface, with a slight tinge afflicting the white inside. 

Oh, and since its summer, I plan to get a bit darker. Thus, the light brown crust :)

But how you say?

How do I go from 'Banana' to 'Eggtart'?

To go through such a drastic change, look no further than your mother.

That's right.

The one who knew-the-language-but-chose-not-to-instill-it-into-you-until-you-had-your-own-desire-to-want-to-learn-it and didnt-want-to-"waste money"-on-a-tutor-so took-the-task-upon-herself.

First lesson dealt with learning basic vocabulary encompassing life - numbers, days of the week, family, name, and such. Am simultaneously learning how to write in Mandarin, so brain overload occured in just over an hour!

Moments later...

"Who's your Daddy (爸爸)?"